The Trudeaus vs. The Kims: Which Family Are The Greater Dictators?

By Josh Lieblein

Justin Trudeau

If you’re anything like me, you would jump at the chance to watch a Steve Harvey-hosted game show where all your favourite corrupt, radical, suppressive and secretive political dynasties hashed it out in a series of hilarious challenges to see who was the best (or worst). Would you be a good Canadian and cheer for the Trudeaus, or would you secretly hope for another family to take them down?

Well, wonder no more because we’re going to lay out the tale of the tape between everyone’s favourite first Liberal family and the Mount Paektu Bloodline. (Depending on the outcome of the PC Party Leadership Race, we might do another installment for whichever family ends up winning. For now, however, here we are.)

 KimsTrudeaus
Brutal Philosopher King Patriarch
Il-SungPierre
Foppish Scion With Anger Management IssuesJong-UnJustin
Method of Insulting TrumpDotardSubtweeting
Subservient State Broadcaster
CBCK (Central Broadcasting Corporation of Korea)CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation)
Signature HairstyleFred Flinstone"A colour found in nature"
Defining IdeologyJucheSunny Ways
Shadowy PuppetmasterSister Kim Yo JongBest Friend Gerry Butts
Dystopian Model1984Brave New World
Weapon of Mass DestructionNukesSocks
Questionable Celebrity Pal(s)
Dennis RodmanMatthew Perry, Bono
Praised As Style Icon By
Vanity FairRolling Stone
Preferred ParadeMilitaryPride
Creepy Statue of Him Waving To His People?YupYep
When Castro Died.....3-Day Mourning Period"Larger Than Life" Eulogy
Familial EstrangementHad His Uncle Killed Half-Sister Sarah Coyne is dead to them
Most Obvious Recent BSReunification With South KoreaISIS is the same as Italian/Greek Immigrants

 

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